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The hate is keeping me warm

November 21, 2012

Now that Notre Dame is one game away from a national title shot, those who despise the Fighting Irish have entered into what I’m calling “5 stages of Domer Hater Grief”.
Stage 1 — Denial
“There is no way Notre Dame can win a national title.”
With Texas A & M’s win over Alabama and Stanford’s dismantling of Oregon’s offense, I say there are no certainties in college football.
Especially this year.
Notre Dame can and will beat whoever the SEC champ is.
Stage 2 — Anger (My personal favorite)
“Notre Dame sucks. They don’t deserve a title shot. Wada…du…dah (that’s the sound of an anger stroke setting in.)
When I’m now confronted by someone who loathes Notre Dame with the above nonsense I politely agree. “They do suck,” I’ll say. “Yet they’re still in the national title hunt.” And if that person is a Purdue fan I’ll make fun of their team and Danny Hope’s mustache. But I’ll talk slow enough that they’ll understand.
Stage 3 — Bargaining
“I’m going to be the biggest USC fan Saturday night. If they can just win it’ll make my season. I’ll do anything.”
I can understand hating Notre Dame. I really can. But to hate them so much you cheer for USC?
The University of Spoiled Children has Lane Kiffin as its coach. In a college football landscape where most head coaches are raging d-bags, he’s perhaps the Lord of them all.
Stage 4 — Depression (No…wait…maybe this is my favorite)
“I can’t believe Notre Dame is 11-0. I don’t know what to believe in anymore.”
Yes…let that anger and depression wash over you.
After spending much of my 31 years on this planet rooting for Notre Dame, it’s about time someone else be depressed about them.
Stage 5 — Acceptance
This stage is tricky because like the GOP after this year’s election, acceptance isn’t an easy option. Notre Dame haters live in a bubble that is impervious to rational thought or facts.
This Notre Dame team may be lucky. They may have only beaten two real teams. But it doesn’t matter. They are the top team in the country.
And here’s the best part.
They’re going to be good for a while. They have ramped up recruiting. They’ve eased admission standards. They’ve built new, enticing facilities.
This is the start of at least a 10-year span where Notre Dame is playing for or in BCS/playoff games.
Shh…I know that hurts to read, Notre Dame hater. Dry those eyes. And make that Diet Coke a medium.

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